This never gets any easier, even though there were many dogs I have loved and lost over the years. This one was very special, to say the least. She was such a tiny ball of white fur when I first brought her home. She was a scared puppy, probably too young to be away from her mother, who was a husky. We do not know who the father was, as the mother was found on the street somewhere in this big city. That is all we were told. The lady who brought her to me was working for some small non-profit to help place dogs in homes. This was 17 years ago. Today, my heart is breaking.
Yesterday it appeared she had some sort of a stroke, which took out one of her front legs. It was just hanging, being dragged as she stumbled into the house. I thought there may be something in her paw, but it didn’t look right. When I lifted her leg, it was clearly without life… paralyzed. This was a bit shocking and it became apparent that she was having great difficulty walking. Her back legs were already compromised, weakened by arthritis and muscle loss from aging. After a very emotional visit to my veterinarian's yesterday and then again today, it was made clear that she was ready to leave this earthly plane.
I fought the urge more than once to turn my car around and go back home. I tried to rationalize that she would be okay, but the pictures in my head were playing over and over again, telling me what I was seeing since yesterday, how she couldn’t get up, how she fell when she did, how she tried to go out but ended up slumping over then to fall asleep, where I found her laying in a pool of urine.
Today was the hardest drive I have ever taken, constantly questioning if I should go through with this. No one should have to make this decision, and yet we are so grateful that this humane act is there for them… for us.
17 years of love, funny dog moments that always made us laugh, even not so funny ones too. The way she howled, talking to us, if only we humans understood. The way she played with her pack mates, and her charming way of begging for a treat. A loyal companion, a sweet soul always there for us. I will miss you so much, my sweet, beautiful girl, my Sophie.
Yesterday it appeared she had some sort of a stroke, which took out one of her front legs. It was just hanging, being dragged as she stumbled into the house. I thought there may be something in her paw, but it didn’t look right. When I lifted her leg, it was clearly without life… paralyzed. This was a bit shocking and it became apparent that she was having great difficulty walking. Her back legs were already compromised, weakened by arthritis and muscle loss from aging. After a very emotional visit to my veterinarian's yesterday and then again today, it was made clear that she was ready to leave this earthly plane.
I fought the urge more than once to turn my car around and go back home. I tried to rationalize that she would be okay, but the pictures in my head were playing over and over again, telling me what I was seeing since yesterday, how she couldn’t get up, how she fell when she did, how she tried to go out but ended up slumping over then to fall asleep, where I found her laying in a pool of urine.
Today was the hardest drive I have ever taken, constantly questioning if I should go through with this. No one should have to make this decision, and yet we are so grateful that this humane act is there for them… for us.
17 years of love, funny dog moments that always made us laugh, even not so funny ones too. The way she howled, talking to us, if only we humans understood. The way she played with her pack mates, and her charming way of begging for a treat. A loyal companion, a sweet soul always there for us. I will miss you so much, my sweet, beautiful girl, my Sophie.
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