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Don't Lose Hope, There Is Magic Here

12/26/2025

The Magician, Oil on Wood, 16"x 13"

I need to say something about magic. On Christmas morning I was thinking about my own childhood and trying to remember when I started to believe that magic was no longer real. It probably coincided with the disheartening realization that Santa was fictional, and at this same time it was appallingly clear that adults actually do lie. Maybe some of you knew this already, you smart kids, but I was one who embraced naivety, or perhaps it was more like ignorance. Either way, there is still a sweet innocence in this place that children live, and I was totally there.

It may seem like a minor event compared to all that happens in one’s life, but when I think about it, it was a solid game changer. I humorously thought “fuck adults”, making us believe there is magic in the world, with imaginary characters running amuck through each holiday or event! The Easter bunny hiding his eggs, like why would a rabbit be in possession of eggs anyway? And the stealthy, winged tooth fairy, who manages to take your last fallen, baby tooth from under your pillow while you safely dream away, and sure, she always carries money in order to place it there in exchange. Were we better off believing in such things?

Mermaid, Oil on Wood, 12"x 12"

Like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, obviously not a good idea, all things magical ceased to exist along with waking up to the truth that there is no fat, white man with a white beard and red suit saying “Ho, Ho, Ho”. He doesn’t sneak into your home on Christmas eve, whether you have a fireplace or not. There is no shinny sleigh with 8 reindeer prancing across your roof. Instead, your very exhausted parents or whoever lovingly raised you (if you were fortunate enough) stayed up late into the night with all the gift wrapping of plentiful, yet unnecessary toys and other goods, innocently helping to perpetuate the lie that they were also told as children, and all of this was ultimately to see your small faces and wide smiles full of the magic on Christmas morning. I think they relive their own magic in this moment. I know I did.

But it isn’t the fictional characters that make magic, nor do I hold any grudge or regret that my parents played along with the stories. So did I, as a parent. No, magic exists in our hearts. We are the magic, and we weave and spin it in our lives whether we are aware of it or not, through whatever we create on our life journey, especially when we do so with love. Don’t lose hope, there is magic here.

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”
― W.B. Yeats

Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.”
― J.K. Rowling, Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl

Believe in your heart that you're meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“I address you all tonight for who you truly are: wizards, mermaids, travelers, adventurers, and magicians. You are the true dreamers.”
― Brian Selznick, The Invention of Hugo Cabret

“Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.”
― Nora Roberts

“Children see magic because they look for it.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." - Albert Einstein

"Magic happens when you do not give up, even though you want to. The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart." - JmStorm

“No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith.”
― R.A. Salvatore, Streams of Silver

“I want to be magic. I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile. I want to be a friend of elves and live in a tree. Or under a hill. I want to marry a moonbeam and hear the stars sing. I don't want to pretend at magic anymore. I want to be magic.”
― Charles de Lint

“Magic's just science that we don't understand yet.”
― Arthur C. Clarke

“Hark, now hear the sailors cry,
Smell the sea, and feel the sky,
Let your soul & spirit fly, into the mystic.
- Into the Mystic”
― Van Morrison, Lit Up Inside: Selected Lyrics

Fly, Oil on Wood, 12"x 12"

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Sleepwalking

12/2/2025

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The Lovers, oil on wood, 12"x 12"

Since the beginning of 2025, I have felt as if I am in a dream. It often feels more like a chaotic nightmare, while I am walking through it – sleepwalking. When I was a child and life was stressful, I would fall into an imaginary world, seeing animals living in small villages deep in the forest. I would draw upon these ideas for hours. I mention this because I felt this need, as an adult, to create paintings from my imagination rather than using photographs. Working this way has felt vulnerable, and oddly comforting in the same moment. The familiar safeness I felt while drawing as a child is coming alive in this process, helping me to see, feel and trust the magic. We tend to forget that there is magic here, especially with so much troubling news coming at us at every moment.

Part of this new direction in my work was my interest in the use of Tarot cards, which fascinated me as I digested the meanings of each card, the characters with their stories, metaphors, archetypes and symbols. Learning Tarot has taught me to see more clearly the signs and messages that happen all around us, giving deeper meaning to my paintings in this body of work. But even more than this, I am aware of how we are all connected, and that there is an ancient, loving energy coming into alignment, allowing us to open our hearts. It is a softening that is taking place, a healing. These paintings are a reflection of this, and just the beginning of this new creative journey I am on.

Mermaid, oil on wood, 12"x 12"

In February of 2025, I was so happy to join Archway Gallery once again. Having been a member previously, 2006 -2012, I left with many fond memories, a bit more wisdom from the experience, and the added benefit of the multiple, life-long friendships that developed while I was part of this wonderful art space.

Now I am preparing for a two person show, Sleepwalking and Obscure Narratives with artist, Trudy Askew, opening Saturday, December 6, from 5 – 8pm. at Archway Gallery. The exhibit will be on view till January 1st, 2026.

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The Price We Pay

12/23/2022

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I usually manage to get something posted here around this time of year. Perhaps I get more introspective about my life, but this feels like a need to connect on an even deeper level, beyond personal. I suppose this is a normal feeling during the holidays as we think of what it is to give to one another. I learned long ago that giving doesn’t come in measured time only during specific holidays or other celebrations in life, although these are perfectly good reasons to go there. We need to celebrate each other for whatever reasons we wish to use as an excuse to do so. We need to bring back our love for one another.

The pandemic put us into a jump-start mode for change, whether we wanted to go there or not. We were forced to isolate from one another, to stay at home and ruminate in our surroundings, and often in our own complex heads. This was particularly difficult for many, especially those who live alone, which is understandable, but I do believe we were given a gift. We were stretched, reshaped and perhaps pulled unwillingly, but we came out the other side with a new sense of who we are and perhaps most importantly, what we value most in life.

I do not say this lightly. There were stages of frustration, grief and even anger. There was a sadness that set in for many of us, and I know I wavered about many things I once perceived as important, even about subject matter I would choose to paint. I could not bring forth anything that seemed significant enough, and I still puzzle about this. I know I was processing all this change, but I have not quit jumped back to my former creative self and have come to accept that this is okay. I must say here that I know there were and still are many subjects/issues worthy of painting, but my heart wasn’t feeling it enough.

Now I sit here on my couch knowing full well that I cannot go see any loved ones this Christmas. I cannot hug and kiss my grand children, share in stories and laughter, delicious food and warm intentions. Covid has finally taken me for its unpleasant ride. I knew that many viruses have been on an upswing, but I was so enjoying not having to wear a mask. It is an inevitable consequence. I am feeling better each day, but wake up to new issues. Today my ears hurt and were so stuffed that hearing is an even bigger issue.

This is also happening during yet another arctic freeze, with a temperature of 17 degrees this morning, the wind chill being 2 degrees. This is Houston, Texas. My tropical plants are looking worried, or maybe that is me. I have the heat turned up to 72 but the thermometer reads 50. Not exactly the plants favorite kind of weather.

Getting back to something we never want to experience – grief. Just over 2 months ago, my daughter-in-law, Lesley, passed away. There is such sadness in my son’s face. He doesn’t talk about it, but I can see it there. My grandchildren seem to be coping, but children deal with grief in different ways. It is a long trek ahead for them, probably the rest of their lives. Grieving the loss of a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, doesn’t ever just end. One hopes that its hard edges will smooth over time, but it will still be there.

I know many of us are reminded of loved ones who have left us at this time of year as we gather during this season of light. I know Christmas lights always bring a smile to my face and have written about it many times. Right now with this chilling weather, I am reminded of why a fire is important. Gathering around the fire to warm ourselves, which is the primal place for connecting as stories were told, food was shared and the hearth became the center of a home.

I have heard it said that grief is the price we pay for love. Having lived as long as I have allows me the realization that I am willing to pay the price, because really, all we have is love.

God breaks the heart again and again and again until the heart stays open – Hazrat Inayat Khan

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Focus

4/16/2022

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Although I have recently posted about two of my dear furry, family members leaving this earthly plane, I have not said much here for a long while. There was a mention around last Christmas, always wanting to say something about lights. Seems I cannot get enough of those sparkly reminders of what I believe we all need more of… light. And yes, my makeshift, Xmas tree is still on my wall, now on it’s 3rd year.

Beyond the growing need to help supplement our food resources as so many food items seemed a bit more scarce these past two years, gardening has been a kind of meditation. similar to what painting has almost always been for me. Now the deeper question is, why did I find it so easy to become distracted from this form of beloved creating in my life?

The pandemic had a massive influence on all our lives for as many different reasons as there are of us. I went through multiple phases; shock, fear, frustration and grief, to a new kind of awareness that even embraces uncertainty, allowing myself to go through whatever emotions arise along the way.

Not so long ago I saw an impressive interview on Rich Roll youtube podcast with Johann Hari. It’s long, but worth the watch/listen. I was left with the strong desire to pick up his book on Amazon, Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How To Think Deeply Again. As I pondered this title, it was like remembering that uncomfortable feeling of not being able to quite grasp a really good dream, or a clear idea that I once coveted to fulfill. Something seemed to slip through these unwanted cracks, something that I had held so close to my heart since I was a small child.

I often clean and prepare my studio, maybe do a few sketches, put together a few new wood panels and gesso them, organize my paints and brushes, readying them for the energy to somehow change and for my artist’s heart to awaken. They say so many things, but one that I know to be true is that an artist will lose the magic of their gift if they do not practice. I tell myself I am just processing life, and I am, but this goes beyond what is simply refereed to as a “block”.

It seemed worth mentioning, because I think I am not alone. I do know other artists who have really leaned into their work, creating like there is no tomorrow. I get an energetic buzz, not just seeing their work, but listening to them talk about their process. Perhaps their deeper self knows something I am not quite grasping. Perhaps my deeper self knows something I am really needing to fulfill, but somehow, I do know that the painting will come back, and it will be with the utmost honesty and unwavering love that its long wait has absorbed, nothing less.

Meanwhile, keeping the faith, and wishing all you creatives the joy of creating whatever completes you in each and every, precious moment.

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My Boy, Louie

4/10/2022

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Like an elderly couple you may read about, one passes on and the other soon follows. My Louie left us yesterday, just two weeks after my sweet Sophie. Living as long as I have allows me the familiarity of grief, but I did not think I would have to visit this sadness again, so soon.

Nearly 19 years ago, I was walking in my neighborhood as I often do now, and noticed a stocky, brown puppy trying to keep up with an older women, who was moving as if she was trying to lose him. I asked her if he was her puppy, and in Spanish along with some body language, it was clear to me that he was not. I walked toward him as he ran to me, me scooping him up into my arms. His tired head dropped onto my shoulder, and just like that he fell asleep. After some funny greetings with my then-dogs, I dispersed signs throughout the neighborhood, but no one came forward. Of course, we were quickly falling in love, and he was already a member of our family.

I cannot really begin to sum up Louie in a few sentences, but I will make a an attempt. He had a rather comical, yet serious personality. Do dogs know they are funny? We humans seem to think so. He often smelled like corn tortillas. He loved going for walks, sleeping in “his” favorite chair, eating almost anything and being the first one to finish, and barking at the dogs on the other side of the fence. My favorite was how he loved cleaning Sophie’s ears – a behavior that I believe to be an affectionate and tender moment between them that lasted till the very end. He was a devoted studio dog, always sleeping near me when I was painting. My partner found him to be a good office dog as well, usually there with him every evening. He did become a bit grumpy in his older age, no sense of humor left, probably due to aches and pains he could not tell us about. The house is oddly quiet, even with one dog now living here. My dear boy, Louie, we miss you so.

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My Sweet Girl, Sophie

3/26/2022

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This never gets any easier, even though there were many dogs I have loved and lost over the years. This one was very special, to say the least. She was such a tiny ball of white fur when I first brought her home. She was a scared puppy, probably too young to be away from her mother, who was a husky. We do not know who the father was, as the mother was found on the street somewhere in this big city. That is all we were told. The lady who brought her to me was working for some small non-profit to help place dogs in homes. This was 17 years ago. Today, my heart is breaking.

Yesterday it appeared she had some sort of a stroke, which took out one of her front legs. It was just hanging, being dragged as she stumbled into the house. I thought there may be something in her paw, but it didn’t look right. When I lifted her leg, it was clearly without life… paralyzed. This was a bit shocking and it became apparent that she was having great difficulty walking. Her back legs were already compromised, weakened by arthritis and muscle loss from aging. After a very emotional visit to my veterinarian's yesterday and then again today, it was made clear that she was ready to leave this earthly plane.

I fought the urge more than once to turn my car around and go back home. I tried to rationalize that she would be okay, but the pictures in my head were playing over and over again, telling me what I was seeing since yesterday, how she couldn’t get up, how she fell when she did, how she tried to go out but ended up slumping over then to fall asleep, where I found her laying in a pool of urine.

Today was the hardest drive I have ever taken, constantly questioning if I should go through with this. No one should have to make this decision, and yet we are so grateful that this humane act is there for them… for us.

17 years of love, funny dog moments that always made us laugh, even not so funny ones too. The way she howled, talking to us, if only we humans understood. The way she played with her pack mates, and her charming way of begging for a treat. A loyal companion, a sweet soul always there for us. I will miss you so much, my sweet, beautiful girl, my Sophie.

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A New Year

1/25/2022

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A New Year

It’s been 3 extraordinary years
and my Christmas “wall-tree” still hangs
string-tied branches dangle
in the classic shape
tiny fairy lights glowing all around
adored ornaments
new ones crowd in each year
after January sales
a delicate glass cardinal, a hand-carved polar bear
that begin to gather their own dust layers
in wispy spider webs.

I said I would finally take it down in 2022
but keep finding reasons to do something else.
On our neighborhood social media
a person scolded
“please take down your lights!”
I wondered at their need to say this.
Did they feel that somebody had to?
Is it that same perfectionism that creates
such tightly manicured lawns
slipping past what really matters
between reason
and some unbearable fixation
unable to ignore
the camouflaged string of unlit pearls
lining their neighbor’s rooftop?

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Ready For "Feel Good"

12/21/2020

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It was some word game on Facebook that someone posted. The image was filled with a puzzle of hundreds of letters set in a grid. The saying was that the first 4 words you see are key to how 2021 will unfold for you. I never play these games as many of them are just a way for Facebook’s advertisers to know more about us, but I couldn’t help but stare at the graphic and these were the 4 words that came up, in this order: Power, purpose, breakthrough, and family.

I was going to slough it off, but then realized it is only another form of divination and I am always intrigued with how things play out, whether we draw taro cards, swing a pendulum, do I-Ching or just open a book to any page and read a sentence. I began to think about these words, what they mean to me and how this could open up many possibilities in the coming months. They sort of gave me an easier route to help clarify my intentions, even though I have pause about how I wish this to actually happen. Perhaps it's not so much about the "how" as it is the "what".

One thing is for certain, we can say goodbye to this year. Some of us probably feel more like kicking it out the backdoor, or at least burning some sage as we enter the new year… not a bad idea. As for me on this important day, December 21st, the winter solstice, I am hopeful.

These last few days I have felt the urge to watch some old, “feel good” Christmas movies, and realized that Netflix wasn't doing it for me. It’s a Wonderful Life, although quite long, keeps me fascinated with the many scenes and messages along the way, most that I feel are still relevant, even though this film was made 73 years ago! Our country had just seen the end to a devastating world war. They must have needed “feel good” in a big way. Many, old Hollywood-style movies that came out at this time were a testament to this.

We are so ready for “feel good” right now. With Covid ragging as never before and the vaccine just beginning its journey into our lives, we need to reclaim some sense of joy, some kind of new normal in our lives, knowing full well it will never be what it was before, and awakening to the idea that this is a good thing.

So, I found Elf on Youtube last night. I have already watched this movie countless times, always sparked by my deep need to laugh a lot. I didn’t watch the entire thing, as I reached my goal midway and know this movie by heart anyway. I'll probably watch the rest sometime today.

One of my favorite holiday movies is A Christmas Carol, with Albert Finney, although there are so many versions of this story worth watching. But the one that I probably whore out on a DVD was Scrooged, with Bill Murray. I still have that DVD player, yet I have no videos. Truth is, we also got rid of our TV a few years ago. No regrets here as my laptop works well enough for anything I wish to watch. But why do I still hold onto that player?

There are other versions of the story behind It’s a Wonderful Life, such as Family Man, with Nicholas Cage, another movie I obsessed over as my heart loved this flip version, where the main character suddenly wakes up to the life he could have had, had he made a different decision when he was younger, rather than chasing the big money dream that he was living in his current life. Kind of a Scrooge/It’s a Wonderful Life combined. This film was not billed as a Christmas movie, but if you watch it, you will know why I feel the vibe here.

Try googling “feel good” movies, and perhaps you will find as I did that most of what is described as “feel good” is a far cry from what I thought I knew it to be. Perhaps this is my age showing, but I know that this form of creativity has the power to touch the human heart in such a way that the viewer walks away forever changed. They are more in love with life.

Many things can do this to us in real life. Sometimes it comes with the harshness of health issues, financial changes, losing one’s home or a loved one, or a year in isolation because of a pandemic. We are in that place.

We have been given this opportunity to make change, to see a new way and to cherish what we most value. We are walking away forever changed and hopefully, we are more in love with life. I am hopeful, and mean this when I say, may this new year, 2021, be full of power, purpose, breakthroughs, family (friends) and above all, love.

Have a Happy New Year!

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Who We Really Are

3/20/2020

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My house quarantine probably started at least two weeks before COVID-19 reached our area of the world. I had some sort of weird cold and then a painful, twisted ankle/foot from a fall in my studio. When I injured myself, one of my dogs came over to comfort me, and I happily reached out to pet her fluffy neck, suddenly realizing that it had been freshly rolled in one of her favorite doggie perfumes, better known as “some other dog’s crap”. I was momentarily struck with a hysterical laughter mixed with pain-endued tears.

Fast forward three weeks into what would have just been another, lovely Spring day with a high pollen count, and life has morphed us all into a full-blown, science fiction movie of pandemic proportions. So much has happened in such a short time.

Clearly, we are seeing this crisis unfold each day with eye-opening changes, starting with the canceled Houston rodeo, to the canceling of all other public events, then quickly followed by the closing of restaurants, bars and gyms. Most museums, galleries and stores have also closed their doors, as we are being asked to stay home and practice social distancing. We are all a bit stunned, anxious, and even fearful, while many of us are still looking for toilet paper. Who knew?

Soon after I injured my foot, I was reminded by a friend that I was being given this chance to rest, heal, and to nurture myself. Indeed in astrology, March of 2020 was showing itself to be a time for all of us to do so, however that looked to each of us individually. Now it is clear that on a large-scale, collective level, this is even more profound.

We are being given a chance to slow down, to see what is important, what is not, and how we will or will not adapt to our fast-changing world. It is an awakening, an opportunity, difficult as it may seem, to make our world a better, more sustainable place for all life on the planet. But still, it is a bit scary. How long will this take, and what will cripple us the most; the virus or the state of the world economy?

Some of us have already been struggling financially, and I am certain that after the huge storm/flood, Harvey, we in Houston have still been picking up the pieces and trying to get back on track. But now, we are talking about most developing countries and beyond, the aftermath of which none of us have ever seen before.

It will not be life as we once knew it. We will need to embrace this with all of our collective minds and hearts. Of course, most of us will get through this and carry on with our lives with some sense of sanity and the new, yet-to-be-discovered normal, but the repercussions from such a world wide event is beginning to dawn on many of us, and it’s not hard to see that it’s going to be a staggering journey.

Our true test is in the coming weeks and months, as many will be sick, some will die, and those of us left to start anew will need to be ever more present, more caring, more resilient, inventive and definitely more connected to each other with a very real sense of love.

I am not sure any of us can say how this will actually play out, but in the aftermath, I see us changing the paradigm, making a new life, and not settling for the destructive practices of our old selves. I have hope for humanity, for most of us meeting this challenge and evolving to a higher vibration that will bring more balance and harmony, restoring our memory of who we really are. We are the guardians of our planet. We are love.

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The Softer Edge of Being

3/23/2019

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Fairy Lights

There is this saying, that when we stay on top of the news, there is a fine line between being well-informed and falling into madness. I am often finding balance between the two, on a softer edge of being: the place where one can find some inner peace. Paintings of my favorite wool socks, a cup of coffee, an afternoon nap on the couch, or a relaxing child’s pose are all part of my focus to keep the chaos down, practicing a simpler, more enjoyable existence. There are also my dogs, a faithful, saving-grace constant in my life. They are my family, and a healthy reminder to see the humor in life, to love unconditionally, to practice patience and to focus on what is right in front of me.

Worrying about the craziness in the world will not change anything except to bring us closer to possible depression and eventual illness. Changing the world starts from within each of us, which is where true peace begins. I care about what is happening, and take steps where I am able, but I have learned not to carry the load. Look for what brings a smile to your face, and may you find your softer edge of being.