I felt compelled to write a little something about this holiday season that came and went with such quick surprise … or perhaps I was somehow less connected to the whole experience. All that hustle that emerges without exception is wearisome to me - frazzled shoppers rounding the parking lots for a any available space, to eventually stand in long lines at the check out with items that may or may not be so pleasing to the intended recipients. Although all gifts are well intended, one wonders if our motivation is in the right place. I cannot help but feel like cattle being pushed through the commercial gates into obligatory, holiday spending.
Aside from all this, I admit I love to give to my family and friends. It has always been a very good excuse to do so during this holiday time of year, and this is fine. But what if one is burdened with health or financial issues? Or perhaps one is depressed, feeling the loss of loved ones? Or, maybe it's as simple as being a bit less enthusiastic without really knowing why. The pressure to participate can be overwhelming.
Aside from all this, I admit I love to give to my family and friends. It has always been a very good excuse to do so during this holiday time of year, and this is fine. But what if one is burdened with health or financial issues? Or perhaps one is depressed, feeling the loss of loved ones? Or, maybe it's as simple as being a bit less enthusiastic without really knowing why. The pressure to participate can be overwhelming.
I must say here that I definitely had a wonderful time with my beautiful family… cherished moments, to say the least. But somehow this Christmas seemed deflated, like those blow-up holiday characters that lose their air by the next morning, always reminding me of inebriated party-goers who end up passed-out on someone's lawn… sadly funny.
It is the lights that give me the warm feeling - the familiar joy of my childhood. Their twinkling brightness seems to pull me into a primal state of being… reminiscent of sitting in front of a warm fire. There is so much weight in the darkness that winter months bring. Those pagan people of long ago knew that fire light was an essential part of their well being. Even if only a candle, that small fire could evoke this same feeling of comfort, eliminating the dark corners and the fears that seem to linger in the unknown.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
Yes, I love the Christmas lights. I could leave them up all year, and have done so in the past, inside my home. I have made various versions of an artsy Christmas tree, displaying my collection of ornaments with all their fond memories, as they reflect more of the warm light around them. My inner child feels nourished by this every year, although the past two years I have not put up one light. I depend on my extended, loving family's effort, along with some of my neighbors, to once again appreciate this luminous miracle.
Without the lights in my house, this dull emptiness seems to seep into my heart. I am so grateful to have the love I have in my life, and I definitely have much to be thankful for, but the lack of those brilliant, little, glowing orbs have made it clear that I must attend to this come next season, or whenever the urge comes over me.
Perhaps Christmas in July? :)
Without the lights in my house, this dull emptiness seems to seep into my heart. I am so grateful to have the love I have in my life, and I definitely have much to be thankful for, but the lack of those brilliant, little, glowing orbs have made it clear that I must attend to this come next season, or whenever the urge comes over me.
Perhaps Christmas in July? :)
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